Even At The Cost Of Life
by DarkHeart89
Summary: "Humans…" Razer muttered in exhaustion, collapsing back onto his bed and curling into a ball on his side. He just wanted Aya back, living being or not. Razer just needed his love safe and hoped to achieve that goal. Even at the cost of his own life. One-shot. Set after "Scarred"


Even At The Cost Of Life

Summary: "Humans…" Razer muttered in exhaustion, collapsing back onto his bed and curling into a ball on his side. He just wanted Aya back, living being or not.

Razer just needed his love safe and hoped to achieve that goal. Even at the cost of his own life.

Rating: K

Pairing: Razaya

AN: I was bored last night and I couldn't sleep, so here came this slab of absolutely nothing.

~Nat

[OoOoOoO]

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"I do not believe **do not disturb me unless it is of upmost important** was understood." Razer barked without even sparing the newly arrived Green Lantern a glance of acknowledgement. He only kept his back turned defiantly, bottom planted firmly on his cot.

Green Lantern Hal frowned, staring at the saddened young man with a great deal of sympathy. Unnecessary sympathy, Razer thought bitterly.

"Look, Razer-" Hal began, but was cut off quickly by Razer.

"Spare your words on a set of willing ears Jordan, I'm not in the mood for it." Razer said shortly, mind clouding over in thought.

Hal crossed his arms, narrowing his eyes. "Sulking isn't going to get us any closer to saving Aya."

That struck a chord and certainly got a reaction out of the Red Lantern. Razer leapt to his feet, spinning around and fixating an outraged look on Hal, baring his sharp incisors for good measure.

"Thanks to your faithful **Guardian's** aid earlier today, we have hardly a chance at restoring Aya back to her normal self!" The Volkregian hissed, eyes flaring. "You trusted that pathetic excuse for a savior and now everything is lost!"

Hal didn't bother saying anything, just continued to let Razer rant. He needed to desperately.

"We were so close to saving her!" Razer said, eyes narrowing. "We could have calmed her down and convinced her of all of the wrong she is committing right now…" His voice broke off briefly as he turned around, taking a moment to release a mere breath.

"The betrayal…the pain in her eyes once she recovered from the attack…" His voice sounded strained and beyond broken. "We have lost her completely-" And then he grew angry and full of rage once more. "And it is all - your - FAULT!" Razer pointed an accusing finger, clenching his jaw tightly.

Hal sighed. "Blaming me or Kilowog, or even yourself isn't going to help anything Razer."

Razer turned his back to Hal again, gripping the small desk in the corner of his quarters, exhaling carefully. "This… **this**," He gestured to himself. "Is how I cope." He looked to Hal with a vulnerable set of blue eyes. "Only Aya was ever aware of this, but I had a wife before this, Illana was her name." He swallowed, almost sounding choked.

Hal's eyebrows shot up quizzically. Wasn't Razer a bit young to have a wife?

"It was a custom." Razer broke in, almost appearing psychic. "But…Illana, my dear Illana, I left her in the midst of war to go and fight myself, to aid my people." He paused, eyes closing. "I left her alone to face all of her troubles. She was reliant and dependent on me, and I just left her…I left her to die."

Hal walked over, resting a hand on his shoulder. "Razer, I'm sure it wasn't your faul-"

"No, no." Razer stiffened from the touch. "It was entirely my fault. I should have stayed for her." He turned, gazing at Hal. "But I refuse to make that mistake again. I will not abandon Aya when I know my…**our **Aya," He quickly corrected. "Is still in there." Razer insisted. "I will fight until my last breath if I have to prove it to her." His head lowered. "I refuse to hurt her any longer."

The Red Lantern padded to his bed and sat, suddenly silent.

It was a pregnant silence, until Razer broke it with an edge in his voice. "Have I made you speechless?"

Hal shook his head slightly, brow furrowing. "No…I'm just **comprehending** all of this new information. It's interesting."

A bitter laugh escaped Razer. "That is one way to put it."

The Green Lantern then made his way over to Razer and took a seat next to him, springs squeaking beneath their combined weight.

"Do you love her?" Hal questioned suddenly.

Razer blinked. Hal rolled his eyes. "Do you, love Aya? It's not that hard of a question Razer."

"I'm aware." Razer bit back, scowling. "I just…it's hard to…it's hard to explain. Yes, I love her."

"Are you sure?" Hal immediately threw back.

"What do you mean **am I sure**?" Razer questioned suspiciously.

Hal straightened, completely ready to explain himself. "Because the day Aya when wacko on us, apparently you triggered some pain in her by **retracting** your love."

Razer's eyes closed painfully and his body completely stopped moving. His breath came out in an uneasy pant and he struggled to swallow his saliva.

"Do you love her now because she is a sentient being Razer? Or do you still love our old robot friend?" Hal's eyes narrowed. "Because if it's the first one, you need to put your head on straight Razer and stop thinking that you'll be able to live happily ever after with her. Newsflash Razer, she is partially a life form." Razer was shaking harder with every word. "Her capabilities are not the same, you can't-"

"ENOUGH!" Razer shouted, leaping to his feet. "That is quite enough from you." He growled darkly.

Hal had wanted to get a reaction from Razer; clearly the kid needed a stronger motive than a pity party.

"I love Aya and I want her back to her usual self. A spoonful of normalcy would be appreciated by anyone at this point." He snapped, before his voice lowered a bit, calming the tempo of his gravelly drawl. "However, that does not mean I expect her to want me in her life at all, and at this point I am no where near deserving of it, but all I want and all I'm asking for at this point, is for in the name of Grotz, SHUT UP!" He ended in an angered tone, his body glowering a vibrant red.

Hal rose to his feet, a smile on his face, leaving Razer perplexed.

"Good, now that we have your loyalties established, make sure to remember that on the battlefield." Before the brunette then made a quick exit before Razer could realize what he had just done.

"Humans…" Razer muttered in exhaustion, collapsing back onto his bed and curling into a ball on his side. He just wanted Aya back, living being or not.

Razer just needed his love safe and hoped to achieve that goal. Even at the cost of his own life.

AN: The end. Review.


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